Movie Review- House II: The Second Story

House 2 is my least favorite kind of sequel, in that it has absolutely no correlation with the previous film. Heck, it barely even takes place in a house. While the previous film tried really hard to be a good movie, this movie feels as if the producers were trying to cash in on what limited success the first House had. While it's labeled as a horror/comedy, this is more of a really lame fantasy/comedy. The plot revolves around this guy, named Jesse, and his inexplicably reanimated great-great-grandfather, who have to protect a crystal skull from "evil forces" . The latter of the two characters is a very annoying cowboy stereotype, but he comes across as more of a grizzled miner from the 1840's. The aforementioned "evil forces" are a bizarre mix of cavemen and Aztec warriors, both of which are hardly 'evil'. The special effects are really lacking here, too. There's some really crappy stop-motion animation effects, and equally bad puppetry. And on the subject of puppetry, there's several scenes really fake-looking pterodactyl baby, and several more with a creepy caterpillar/dog hybrid puppet. Both of these monstrosities are supposed to be played as 'cute', but the poor quality of the puppets makes them extremely creepy. The ending is extremely ambiguous and confusing, somehow more so than the rest of the film. Overall, a very incoherent and boring film. Not recommended in the least. Personally, I'm a bit indifferent about this film, though. I wanted to hate it, it's really bad, but not cringe-inducing bad. So for that, I'll give it a 2/5.

IMDB Page- http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093220/

Movie Review- House

House is a rare feat. A horror-comedy that is neither creepy nor funny. I think part of the problem comes from the fact that the director and producer were the guys behind Friday the 13th 2 and 3. But the main problem with this movie is that it is very unoriginal and formulaic. The same old haunted house routine, with very little ingenuity or inventiveness. The characters are flat and generally boring and unlikable, which really affects any potential this movie had. There's some weird interludes with the main character's Vietnam flashbacks, which make very little sense other than to set up an equally confusing final monster. The acting is really uneven here, particularly his neighbor with a constantly disappearing and reappearing European accent. Much like the acting, the special effects work is uneven, running the gamut from flying obviously-on-strings garden tools, to surprisingly good zombie makeup during the last 15 minutes. Speaking of which, the last 15 minutes is really the only interesting part of the film, but even then it makes almost no sense whatsoever. The main character somehow retrieves his lost son from inside his bathroom mirror, but not before being attacked by a skull-eagle thing that looks like something from a heavy metal album cover. After retrieving his son, he's attacked by the zombie of his former Vietnam war buddy, who's back for revenge for some reason. It's as if the special effects team was inspired heavily by heavy metal album covers, because the zombie/soldier guy looks like something from a Megadeth CD. As thrilling as this may sound, it's somehow a snoozefest. Overall, this is a very boring film. I didn't hate it, but I certainly didn't like it. Not recommended in the least. 2/5

IMDB Page-  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091223/

Movie Review- Lo

One of my favorite film genres is dark comedy. And this is a great dark comedy. The whole movie plays out like a stage play, and the flashbacks themselves are actually stage plays within the movie. It gives the movie a very interesting feel, but mostly a low-budget feel. The script is great, even if it's a little odd at times. The plot is very dialog heavy, much of the film consists of Justin conversing with various demons, Lo in particular. But it's not boring by any means, the characters are engaging, as well as the plot. A lot of the budget here seems like it went into the demon makeup, and boy does it show. The makeup is realistic, which is a rare feat in any genre. Lo, the title character, is a Freddy Kreuger type, spewing humor here and there, but it still manages to be a menacing villain. There's a good bit of bizarre humor here, which may turn a lot of people off, but the offbeat humor fits with the tone of the movie, so I had no problem with it. Scenes such as the 50's-style love ballad sung by one of the demons, while really strange, are quite fun to watch. It's a very surreal movie, too, but again, it works great with the tone. The ending is quite unexpected, a good twist ending for once, which makes the whole film very bittersweet in retrospect. A very, very weird movie, but quite enjoyable. Highly recommended to those with an offbeat sense of humor. 5/5

IMDB Page:  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1047490/

Movie Review- Class of Nuke 'Em High

Class of Nuke 'Em High is another trashfest from Troma studios. They're not known for making good movies, but this was surprisingly entertaining. It definitely has its moments, and can be quite funny at times, but the overall poor quality of the movie negates the potential this film had. It's big on gore and cheap laughs, and short on just about everything else. The acting is rather uneven, ranging from passable to really corny, and this applies to the whole cast. The script is kinda funny at times, as I said, but the overall plot is lacking, and it really affects the last 30 minutes or so. The film editing is really poor here, too, and it gets really distracting at times, to the point where I was wondering why certain shots were even there. The gore factor is surprisingly sub-par for this type of movie, it's all really fake, and not in a laughable way. There's also a good bit of continuity errors and plot holes, which gets really annoying at times. It's the little things like that take away from the enjoyment of the film. But all the negative criticism aside, this is actually quite a funny movie at times, with a dark and goofy tone, particularly the humor based around the nuclear safety hazards. This isn't a profound movie by any means, but it's a mildly enjoyable 80 minutes if you've got to sit through it. But don't get your hopes up.
Quality: 1/5 Enjoyment: 3/5

IMDB Page: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0090849/

Movie Review- Terrorvision

There's nothing I love more than a good B-movie. They're so hard to come by, but when a genuinely fun film such as this pops up, it's a great feeling for me. Terrorvision is a tongue-in-cheek parody of crappy science fiction films, and it works wonderfully, as the production value is roughly the same as the movies it parodies. As expected from this type of film, the characters are nothing but walking stereotypes, from the Cyndi Lauper wannabe, to the brainless metalhead kid; but the characters are so grossly stereotypical that they're somehow likable. The movie briefly shifts gears from campy horror to a strange segment parodying E.T., in which the kids try to tame the monster, by teaching it about junk food and heavy metal. The monster effects are really well-done for the budget, although the alien kinda looked like a Jabba the Hutt/lobster covered in Vaseline. There's also a strange subplot involving the kids' parents, who are the "hip swinger" types, which adds an odd bit of comic relief, and by comic relief I mean that the writers were going for intentional laughs, as opposed to the camp-induced laughter. Another interesting element of the film is Medusa, an Elvira knock-off who serves very little to the plot up until the last 5 minutes, but her scenes were rather funny, so I'll let that slide. Some of the humor was a bit outdated, though, but then again, this movie was made 25 years ago. Overall, a very strange and campy movie, and one of the most enjoyable B-Movies I've ever seen. A very fun watch, and highly recommended. 5/5

IMDB Page:  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092074/

Movie Review- Monty Python's The Meaning of Life

I don't know why a lot of people didn't like this movie. Personally, I thought this was just as good as 'The Holy Grail', but that's just me. I love the darker tone that this movie took, the grimness works quite well with the usual Monty Python shtick. And there's very little narrative to the film, which makes it come across as a really long episode of the TV show. The humor has a wide range, which I normally don't like in movies, but seeing as this is more of an anthology movie, it works quite well. The humor ranges from philosophical moments, to gross-out humor, to the usual absurdity that the troupe is so well-known for. The musical numbers are quite funny, too, particularly the opening song lampooning Catholicism. The cinematography is mildly interesting at times, and the animated skits by Terry Gilliam are as wonderfully animated as they are strange. My only complaint is that the opening skit, which is about pirate insurance salesman, makes absolutely no sense give the nature of the rest of the movie, and seems to be there solely to play into a brief joke later on in the film. Not exactly a gut-bustingly funny movie, but it'll keep you smiling the whole time. Very enjoyable, and highly recommended. 5/5

IMDB Page: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0085959/

Movie Review- Cyberbu//y

This was a lot better than I expected, particularly for a TV movie. Cyberbully tries really hard to make a good point, and it certainly does, but the message is lost slightly because of the overall campiness. The whole thing seemed like a new-age After School Special, hopefully this will bring about a slew of similar films.The acting is laughably melodramatic, and the 'cyberbullying' is quite unintentionally humorous. The characters are all unlikable, and it's hard to feel sorry for them, although the writers seemed to be trying to make them likable. The dialog is really cheesy at times, and Taylor's mom is extremely annoying. And the ending was little odd, but I wasn't expecting anything profound. But despite all that, this is a very enjoyable and unintentionally funny movie. A fun watch for those who enjoy campy movies.
Quality: 2/5
Enjoyment: 4/5

IMDB Page: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1930315/

Movie Review- Basket Case

I love B-Movies. But there is a thin line between a laughable and cheesy B-Movie, and one that is just plain terrible. Basket Case would be the latter of the two. The acting is probably the worst I've ever seen in a movie, yes, even worse than 'Troll 2'. I highly doubt that anyone in the cast was actually an actor. And it's the little things that make this movie terrible. The sound quality is horrendous, as well as the film quality itself. The camera they used must have been really cheap. And then there's the gratuitous screaming. You can't go five minutes without someone screaming or yelling, which is made even worse by the crappy sound quality. And then there's the special effects. They would have been laughably bad if the effects weren't so darn pathetic. The monster looks like something made out of Play-Doh, and the stop-motion sequences are downright atrocious. On the plus side, which is very slim, the idea is very original, but the script is so poorly executed, it ruins all the creativity. Believe me, I love crappy movies, but this is just sad. I would not recommend this at all, I'm still mourning the loss of the 90 minutes I just spent watching this atrocity. 1/5

IMDB Page: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0083624/